Batfans need to confess a reality that every other person with common sense knows: Batman is a Gary Stu character who is singlehandedly ruining all the other DC mythos.
Let’s look at the pure empirical evidence. I give you first the lede image in this scientific takedown:
Gary Stu aka Batman Vs. Darkseid
In the image, your eyes may see a sight that causes your brain to erupt with the question: is Darkseid being drop-kicked by a human wearing a cosplay fetish leatherdaddy getup?
Your eyes do not decieve you. Darkseid, a new god in DC Comics, is wincing in pain and stumbling as Batman nearly causes the universal force to fall.
Mind you, in this fight, Superman is being manhandled and smacked around by Darkseid. After being reminded ‘you are but a man and I am a god’ by Darkseid, Superman received the backbracker. Batman, observing this, decides to spring into action, drop kicking Darkseid and giving us the screenshot above.
But that is not all. It gets more ridiculous from there and Batman Stans defend it. Behold:
Look at how Batman casually flips away from the Omega Beams. These are honing beams that do not miss. Superman, who flies near the speed of light, could not outfly them. Flash had to pray to the Speed Force to not get wiped out of reality. Yet, Batman, casually gives the ol’ razzle dazzle jump off a radomly falling parademon and Darkseid confirms: “Batman, you are a Gary Stu. No one has been able to do that.”
Since we invoked the Great Flash, let’s next look at what happens when Batman, Flash and Hawk Girl get paid a visit by Doomsday:
Green Lantern (Hal Jordan), Hawk Man with Nth Metal Mace, The Flash and of course Batman vs Doomsday
This one is so, so ridiculous, I am just going to roll footage. I’ve included the ridiculous arguments that the Batfans are using to defend this mess. The footage:
In rebuttal, a commentator (me) noted:
I am beginning to hate modern writing for Batman. Flash, tapping into the speedforce and wielding a Thanagarian Nth metal mace, does less damage to Doomsday and his suit than two batbombs? GTFO. Good writing would be Flash/mace killing Doomsday for a second, Doomsday recovering, and then evolving on the spot. But no, again, Batman makes the other heroes job to him. – Dr. Foote
End fricking Quote. This is ridiculous. But It Is Batman! We can do this all day. Let’s look at more evidence that supports my opening thesis statement:
- Batman Snatches Rings from Green Lanterns. Clearly Oa’s Guardians Have No Defense for This
-
Look at how shocked Black Green Lantern is to see his ring snatched off his fingers. John Stewart is military tough, a marine. He is street tough, he lives in like Detroit. He is not getting his ring snatched in his civilian life or hero life. Yet, Trollosaurus rex just cannot stay in his own comics and not ruin the mythos of the other heroes.
- Bruce Wayne plays slap and tickle with Lois Lane
-
Ah, yes, Batman does not just limit himself to humiliating Green Lanterns and smack-talking gods from Apocalypse with but batarang and karate kicked feet, he likes to make it personal. In Superman’s title show, Superman: The Animated Series a mini-movie named World’s Finest brought Batman into the goings-on of Metropolis. Within a day, Bruce Wayne seduces Lois Lane with dreamy eyes, his plastic grin, jets, dinners, not being named Clark Kent, Plot Armor, Ruinous Spirit.
Lois rubs same sort of warming jelly on Bruce’s back before they build a tent in her bed for the night.
What would we think if Superman showed up in Gotham with a sleeve of kryptonite rubbers and made his way through Catwoman, Batwoman et al. What if he went and stole Alfred? It would be absurd. Pointless. Insulting. But what if Batma…they wouldn’t, would they? They did. You can see the full travesty here.
- Gary Stu By Association: The Batman Connection
-
There used to be a game people played called ‘Degrees of Kevin Bacon’. The way you played it is if you knew 5 people, you likely had a link to the great Kevin Bacon. Someone would somehow know someone who knew him. The same can be said for Batman. If you are five degrees of separation directly from him, you get his plot armor extended to you. Let’s look at the facts:
Alfred Beats “I-Just-Lost-My-Wife-Baby-Dad-City-Planet-Friends” level Superman to a pulp.
Because a geriatric man who was once Royal Special Forces drinks some Go Go Juice and can take on Superman who does not hold back. Sure.
So what do you think? We have seen the evidence in short form and will see much more until DC Learns the facts. Inserting Batman into other heroes mythos to only have him, his rogues and even his butler beat up said characters is injustice in itself. It makes all the other heroes lame and the public has shown time and time again, they lose interest. Until Batman stops being a Gary Stu, DC Comics will continue to be frustrated by Marvel’s success in staying relatively true to their characters and their CONSISTENT abilities and scaling.
