Introduction: The Dual Nature of Play
Every gamer has heard the same question at some point: “Why do you spend so much time playing?” The easy answer is escape. Games take us out of daily stress from work, family life, and school drama, transport us to other worlds and universes, and let us do what we can’t in reality.
But here’s the twist: while games are often seen as escapes, they may also be mirrors showing us who we are, who we wish to be, and sometimes, who we fear becoming.
So, which is it? Are games an escape, or a path to self-discovery?
The Case for Escape
- Stress Relief – After a long day, nothing numbs frustration and stress like grinding out a quest or two, shooting through levels or hordes of enemies, or losing yourself in a plethora of pixels.
- Fantasy Fulfilled – Games let us be what we can’t: heroes, warriors, builders, and gods.
- Safe Distance – In a game world, failure is resettable. Real-world stakes disappear.
For many, games are sanctuaries where everyday anxieties melt away at least for a little while.
The Case for Self-Discovery
Yet, games don’t just distract us; they shape us.
- Roleplaying as Reflection – (Roleplaying Games) RPGs ask us to make choices. Do we pick kindness, ruthlessness, loyalty, betrayal? Sometimes our decisions reveal more than we realize. And for some, it can be shocking. In reality, you wouldn’t usually shoot someone just to take their car. But, in the game, it’s totally posssible.
- Character Identification – We see pieces of ourselves in characters who fight, suffer, or rise. From Arthur Morgan’s morality in Red Dead Redemption 2 to Shepard’s choices in Mass Effect, our alignment says something. Giving the player the choice to identify closely with the character is often one of the main ingredients for a good game. (Besides the graphics and storyline.)
- Skills and Growth – Strategy, teamwork, persistence, even leadership games pull out qualities we might not notice in our daily lives. Some players don’t realize they’re leaders until they take command of the group after an ambush.
In other words, our avatars often reveal truths about our offline selves.
When Escape and Self-Discovery Overlap
Here’s the paradox: escape and self-discovery aren’t opposites. They often intertwine.
- A gamer escaping a stressful job might roleplay as a leader in Final Fantasy XIV and realize they crave leadership in real life.
- Someone playing to “get away” from loneliness may discover deep friendships in online guilds.
- Choosing a character’s romance in a game might uncover truths about identity, preferences, or the kind of love we long for.
In escaping, we sometimes stumble into clarity. This can benefit our real-life jobs and lifestyles.
The Shadows of Both
But neither path is without risk.
- Escape Taken Too Far – Games can become avoidance, a way to hide from problems instead of facing them. This isn’t always the case, but it can happen.
- Self-Discovery Misinterpreted – Not every in-game choice reflects your soul. Sometimes it’s just curiosity, experimentation, or plain fun.
Balance matters: games can be tools, but like any tool, they depend on how we use them.
Final Thought: The Play Within Us
So, do we play games to escape or to find ourselves? The truth is yes. We do both. Sometimes in the same session. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Maybe the real beauty of games is that they don’t force us to choose. They let us escape when the world feels heavy. And when we’re ready, they hold up a mirror showing us not just the worlds we wish existed, but the person we already are.
