The institution of marriage is sacred. Blah blah blah. We know that is very subjective. The entire topic is used for politicking, financial consideration, it goes on and on. But at the end of the day, people are hyprocrites, some are loyal, some are true, and some are just rotten.
But at the end of the day, people are people. That means no two outcomes are guarenteed the same…aside from universal truths. And here is the truth: all women are very hard to live with.
That is why the statistics show that even though people are rotten, people vary in their degree of honesty (especially my ex-fiance Claire who cheated on me) about marriage, that when you try to resolve all your human imperfections to stay married, it is women who struggle the most! Hah! Statistics do not lie and there is no bureau of labor secretary to blame and fire for the numbers. Roll tape!
To this day I believe the happiest households are gay man households. Think about it. Spiders cower in corners, there are no tossed slippers or upside down cups even if the biggest Jumanji 8-legged monster unfolds its pedipalps. It is at best getting spritzed with an all-natural lavendar scented bug spray, or at worst stomped by a high-end fashion shoe.
The incomes, two men, likely commanding powerful careers. They are neat and festidious, so at the very least upper management and organized. Clean and tidy homes. They spend hours in the gym, worshipping the machines that give rise to their hard earned abs and biceps. They are no stranger to oils, so they glisten as they greet each other after a long day of corporate work, gym routines, wild parties and long showers. Still glistening with oils as they hop into bed to end the night and do it all over again.
Heterosexual couples, we know the drill. Loud kids. Gender differences and arguments over the disparities. Cheating. CLAIRE. And all of that. It is depressing to even dredge out the details.
But lesbians. Naggy. Tough. Feisty. Seductive. Just imagine, the endless programming loops of ‘Hey, honey, want to play scissor kittes?’ “Sorry, headache,” in the most gruff Rosie O’Donnell way possible of saying it.
And speaking of programming loops, just imagine, the monthly one week XX feature taking place at the same time. It is rough enough as man to deal with it, but just imagine two women in bad moods dealing with that on a month to month basis, and steal juggling everything in life.
So here is the mansplain: it is very understandable why gay men have the lowest rates of divorce, heterosexuals keep just middling along and double women marriages have the highest rates.
Don’t be mad at me, blame it on the bureau of labor statistics secretary or someone, just like any other person who claims to be concerned about marriage but betrays it at any chance would do.
